One Paragraph at a Time (Erotica-ish Challenges)…Homebanger Style

I’m continuing the Erotica-ish Challenge that is now One Paragraph of Erotica Thursdays created by Nate of Speaking Out on Nate, this week’s theme was Cowboys.  I’m late, and I only did 3.  Oh well, 3 seems like the maximum number my creativity will allow – and cowboys aren’t my favorite type of men. 😉
  1. A bar, poker game, a prostitute in a hurry
  2. A dastardly villain, a train coming into town, a damsel in distress, a hero who lost his hat
  3. A snake oil salesman, a covered wagon with a broken wheel, three women looking to get to town, blazing sun
  4. A mysterious destination, a cowboy on a stubborn horse, a lost cow, rancher looking for cow
  5. A man with a mustache, a cell phone on vibrate, two college girls, at a rodeo (supplied by Betty Homebanger)

1. Sheriff Johnson pushed the doors to the saloon open, letting them swing shut behind him.  He watched as all attention turned to him, except for a table of patrons playing poker in the corner.  The same men that had meandered into his town only hours before, “trouble” he thought.  Henrietta, a local prostitute, was enjoying the attention the gentlemen were lavishing her with.  “They’re in for a surprise.” Sheriff Johnson mumbled under his breath.  Just then he watched Henrietta hurry to the back with two of the gentlemen in hand.  He decided to wait this one out, not three minutes later, one man came barreling out from the private room.  He grabbed a bottle of Jack, turned around, and headed back.  “I’ll be damned,” the Sheriff exchanged a knowing look with the bartender, “Henri has done it again”.

2. “Damn.” Harry (the dirty kind) reached to his head, his hat had flown off right in the middle of chasing down the train headed to town.  He pulled the reigns of Loaded, his black stallion, “Ah, they’ve got to stop at the station regardless, I can’t leave my hat.”  He explained to his horse.  He was trying to catch the train to warn them about Willie Stroker, the ruthless outlaw that had just robbed a train 2 towns over.  Just then a horse flew past him, carrying a man matching Willie’s description and a frightened woman slung over him, riding reverse cowgirl.  There had been no mention of a hostage.  Harry raced after them, forgetting about his hat, he watched as the woman pleaded with her eyes for him to help her.  Just then her head fell back onto the villain’s shoulder and she screamed out, “Oh God yes!”.  “That must be one hell of a horse, Loaded.” Harry kicked his heels, encouraging Loaded to catch up so they could both have some fun.

3.  The blazing sun beat down on the three ladies as they stood over the pieces of splintered wood that once was a wagon wheel. “What are we going to do?” the blonde young lady asked, “If I don’t get to town for a new riding crop Jim is going to tan my hide”.  “Settle down May, I’ll teach you how to really use that riding crop, and Jim won’t even remember it was for the horses.” the vivacious red-head replied.  Just then a bald man in a cheap suit slowed his horse down beside them. “Good day ladies, what seems to be the problem?”  The seedy man asked.  “Our wagon wheel is broken, we need help replacing it.” The brunette answered.  “Hmm, I’m sure I could help you with that but I’m going to need some supplies.”  he replied, his deceitful eyes gleaming.  “Anything.” replied the blonde.  “Alright, I need two of your corsets, and one of your petticoats and skirt.”  “What for?” asked the red-head, “I’ll explain in a minute, just do it”.  “Fine” the brunette replied, “but only because we love seeing each other naked, I know what you’re after, you’re nothing but a snake oil salesman”.  “Damn, you caught me.” he replied with a grin as he watched them undress.

One Paragraph At A Time (Erotica-ish Challenge)…Homebanger Style

I had so much fun writing the bonus question from my  Sensual Blogger Award inspired by Speaking Out on Nate that I decided to jump to the challenge when he proposed more prompts here One Paragraph At A Time (Erotica-ish Challenge) and here Well…Dat Happened (Updated).  So the following are the prompts I was given and what I did with them.  I have no experience and very little imagination so cut a girl some slack.

#1: A 24 hour diner, a truck driver, a waitress with the hiccups, and a glass of water.

Jed pulled his 18 wheeler into The Big Pumper, a 24 hour diner, to get some food and catch a few hours of sleep.  He walked in, and took a seat at the counter just as a busty bosomed waitress turned around. “I’ll be right with you.” she said with a hiccup.  His eyes went straight to her voluptuous breasts as she continued to hiccup.  Every time her diaphragm contracted her beautiful breasts jiggled and looked as if they would spill out of her uniform.  It had been months since he had felt a woman’s pussy contract around his thick meaty cock.  “Maybe you should get a glass of water.” He told the waitress. “I’ve tried that.  I just need to swallow something really thick to get my diaphragm back in order.” she explained.  “I’ve got just the thing.” he responded.

#2: A magic mushroom, 2 fairies with butterfly wings, and a spider with a knack for tying knots.

Sasha was feeling the effects of the magical mushrooms she had taken, and decided there was no way she’d be able to handle herself around heterosexual men tonight. She walked into the bar and a hunky bartender said “Welcome to Two Fairies with Butterfly Wings.  What can I get you to drink?”  “Do you have any specials?” Sasha asked, “Tonight’s special is ‘A Spider with a Knack for Tying Knots’.  It’s a signature cocktail, all the fairies love it.” he explained  “Fairies?” “Oh, it’s just what we call our regular patrons.” explained the bartender.  “Oh.”, “So what brings a beautiful young lady to a gay bar?” he asked. “I just couldn’t handle straight guys tonight, I figured I’d be safe here.” she explained.  “Gotcha, well just to let know you know all the bartenders are straight.” Oh shit, she thought. “Really?” she asked.  “Yep, and I’m getting off at midnight if you want to stick around.” he replied.  “If I stick around will you get me off too?”

#3: A less than virtuous maiden, a knight with a secret, an innkeeper looking to make some money, and a rainy night.

The rain had just begun to fall as the innkeeper looked out of the cottage window.  “People will be looking for shelter soon, I’ll charge my highest rates, two shillings a night, due to the weather.” she thought.  Just then, a tall striking young knight busted through the doorway.  His armor was glistening with rain drops, reminding her of sweat-sheened bodies tangled much like a fly in a web of a spider with a knack for tying knots (Booyah! Didn’t expect me to use that twice, did ya?).  The innkeeper removed herself from her daydream to help the dashing knight.  “Need a room?” she asked. “Yes, two please, my sister will need one as well.” he responded in a warm rich deep voice.  Her pussy quivered in response.  “Alright, that’s four shillings, will you need anything else?”  “I’ll need some company for the evening, but only if you can keep a secret.” he seductively replied.  “What kind of secret?” “Meet me in my room and you’ll see.”  Just then the cottage door opened and a young maiden came in dressed entirely in white.  “This is my sister, she’ll need a room directly across from mine so I can keep an eye on her.” he instructed.  “Certainly, sir.”  The two guests were shown to their rooms, and the innkeeper told the knight she would be back shortly.  She knocked on the door, and the knight showed her into his room where the maiden laid tied to his bed wearing a corset fit for a harlot.  The knight came up behind her and whispered in her ear “Can you keep a secret?” as he covered her eyes with a blindfold.

Not my best work.  Maybe I should stick to banging, not erotica-ish paragraphs.  Next time maybe I’ll search out some magic mushrooms for inspiration.