The Kickass “MILF”


I feel like I have a mommy tummy in this picture.

In honor of Mother’s Day, I decided a post dedicated to the best MILF qualities would be appropriate.  I told Cash long before having children that one of my main goals in life was to be a MILF.  For some reason being hot after children seemed more important than pre-children hotness.  I’m not sure why, I guess it’s a respect thing.  Cash says I’m not truly a MILF until our children’s friends lust after me, I’ve got a while before that happens (if it happens…fingers crossed).  I think having a child or children and then getting your sexy back classifies as MILF territory, no matter who wants to fuck you.

Here are my best MILF Qualities:

Confidence:  This is an extremely important trait, I think mother’s often have a high level of confidence because they have:  A. pushed a watermelon out of their woohoo, B. been sliced like a motherfucker and the watermelon pulled from said slice, or C. adopted which is totally badass in itself.  The confidence may not be with us everyday, but being comfortable in your own skin is very appealing.

Sassiness:  Along with confidence, mommas tend to have a pinch of sass.  Which is fun, and well… sassy!  Sassy mommas can talk a little shit, and know how to have fun.  But let’s not confuse this with bitchiness which is not hot at all, it just makes you a bitch.

Womanly bodies:  Sure there are women that look exactly the same after having children as they did before.  No signs of motherhood anywhere on their tight little bodies (bitches) but most women are left with subtle signs of motherhood.  Slightly widened hips and softer stomachs (saggier tits – I’m leaving this one out of the MILF list but felt like mentioning it).

Experienced Lovers:  They know what they like in bed, and they know how to return the favor.  Which is hot, I guess I can understand the appeal to an inexperienced partner, but I think having some knowledge of what’s going down is way hotter.  She can rock your world with her special tricks, and she’s more open to trying new things.

No cattiness (Mature):  Some women are always catty, however they do not make my MILF list, so suck it.  I think MILF worthy mother’s don’t have time to care or worry about what someone else is wearing or if it makes them look fat.  We are busy raising children, and being sex kittens behind close doors (or open ones if you’re into that sort of thing).

What did I leave out?